Today was one of the happiest days of my life. I was a bundle of nerves, excitement, and happiness. I was marrying the man I was planning to spend the rest of my life with. Some of my favorite memories of the day are Ryan teaching my friends to square dance, and Ryan and I putting our wedding cake in the faces of our best man and matron of honor, Curtis and Tricia - luckily, they were good sports :). We spent that Christmas, our first together, in Australia, on our honeymoon. The following year, we went with Ryan's parents to Clifton Mills to see the lights. Two years later, we had a four month old, and were probably more interested in her than in going out to celebrate. I'm not sure if we did anything special on our third anniversary either. Last year, we called my parents around 3:00 and asked if they'd keep Aubrey while we went to supper at the Texas Roadhouse.
Year five is here now, but Ryan is not. I was fully aware that this day would be rough; it was harder than Thanksgiving. I got an email from a close friend this morning sharing her remembrances of our special day. I had some meetings this morning, so I didn't have time to dwell on it much. After lunch was a different story and I kept running different memories through my head. Tonight, Aubrey and I went with Jeff, Dena, Jacob, and Laura Wuebker to supper and then to Clifton Mills; Aubrey loved watching the lights and the little train go around the tracks, and I enjoyed having something the smile and laugh at.
The last year and a half of our marriage was sometimes stressful, but Ryan and I had such a wonderful marriage and although I was much rather him still be here with me, I don't get to make that choice and I'm so grateful for the time that God gave us and that we have such a beautiful daughter.
I don't fully understand God's plan in all this, but I know that Ryan is in a great place with our Savior and Aubrey and I miss him a lot, but we're happy.
-A
Oh, April. My heart aches for you. Please continue to find comfort in the Lord. You and Aubrey are often in my prayers, always praying for comfort, strength, and happiness. I am inspired by you and Ryan's love for one another. The two have you, in your own way have strengthened the marriage of many of your friends. Have a very blessed Christmas!
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ReplyDeleteApril-
ReplyDeleteI deleted my above comment, b/c I wanted to be signed in as myself, and I wanted to add a bit to what I had written. I thought of you and your wedding a day a week and a half ago, as we put up our tree. We saved two silver bells from your reception, and have used them as ornaments every year. This year i hung them together in honor of you and Ryan and the memory of your wedding day. I've always enjoyed remembering your crazy square dance when I see those bells, but this year they took on a new significance. I've been praying for you this season.
love,
gretta