My Little Comedy Act

Aubrey cracks me up sometimes. Today I had to get her up early because we were headed down to the Newport Aquarium, so she was still tired while driving to my parents' house, but when we passed a row of small pine trees, she started telling me that she saw some little trees; however, halfway through the word little she stopped and changed her word to tiny and told me that she saw some tiny trees. It just cracked me up for some reason.

She really enjoyed seeing the fish, sharks, and turtles today. She touched a shark and a star fish and would have probably jumped in the tide poll had we let go of her. We stopped at the mall on the way home to make a couple of returns and she wanted Lilly, her baby doll to ride in the stroller, not her. She did ok for a little while, but then wanted to run off. My mom ended up staying with Aubrey and Camryn in the play section while I finished up the returns. Before we left, we had to ride up and down the escalator. What fun!

-A

Merry Christmas

Aubrey and I would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, or as Aubrey may say, you wish me a merry Christmas, that's how she asks me to sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. We celebrated Christmas with my parents and my brother's family this past Sunday and Aubrey was so excited, she wanted to open everybody's presents. She got a rolling suitcase, new clothes, and snow boots, which she promptly put on and wouldn't take off until it was time to put her pajamas on. She has been wearing them around the house every day since. She finally wore them outside today and walked around in the snow. She thought that was pretty great. She also got a doctor's kit, a fairy house, a new movie, a rocking chair, a teeter totter, and a high chair and stroller set for her baby dolls. We had to have Papaw and Mamaw come over and help put that together.

Tomorrow evening we will have Ryan's side of the family at our house and Saturday we will go to my parents' to celebrate with my mom's family.

Next week, I get the whole week off, so we're going to catch up on things at home. Please pray for Aubrey (and peace for my mind). She had some blood in her urine on Monday, which they assumed was a urinary tract infection. The cultures came back today and they were negative, so she has to go in again next week to have her urine checked. I am a bit concerned, but the doctor thinks that she probably just had some irritation. I'd just like to know for sure.

-A

Five Years Ago

Today was one of the happiest days of my life. I was a bundle of nerves, excitement, and happiness. I was marrying the man I was planning to spend the rest of my life with. Some of my favorite memories of the day are Ryan teaching my friends to square dance, and Ryan and I putting our wedding cake in the faces of our best man and matron of honor, Curtis and Tricia - luckily, they were good sports :). We spent that Christmas, our first together, in Australia, on our honeymoon. The following year, we went with Ryan's parents to Clifton Mills to see the lights. Two years later, we had a four month old, and were probably more interested in her than in going out to celebrate. I'm not sure if we did anything special on our third anniversary either. Last year, we called my parents around 3:00 and asked if they'd keep Aubrey while we went to supper at the Texas Roadhouse.

Year five is here now, but Ryan is not. I was fully aware that this day would be rough; it was harder than Thanksgiving. I got an email from a close friend this morning sharing her remembrances of our special day. I had some meetings this morning, so I didn't have time to dwell on it much. After lunch was a different story and I kept running different memories through my head. Tonight, Aubrey and I went with Jeff, Dena, Jacob, and Laura Wuebker to supper and then to Clifton Mills; Aubrey loved watching the lights and the little train go around the tracks, and I enjoyed having something the smile and laugh at.

The last year and a half of our marriage was sometimes stressful, but Ryan and I had such a wonderful marriage and although I was much rather him still be here with me, I don't get to make that choice and I'm so grateful for the time that God gave us and that we have such a beautiful daughter.

I don't fully understand God's plan in all this, but I know that Ryan is in a great place with our Savior and Aubrey and I miss him a lot, but we're happy.

-A

Snow Day

I got to stay home with Aubrey today. Actually, we went to town and went to the grocery and had lunch with my mom and my nieces. Aubrey took a three hour nap today! I should have gotten a lot of things done today, but I didn't do as much as I wanted. I did finish up my Christmas card a and started a little wrapping. I also did a couple loads of laundry and some ironing. It is about time for Aubrey' bath and she has her whole "diaper" bag torn out all over the living room floor - she's definitely 2!

-A

New Car

I got a new vehicle! I thought it might be a good idea to have a four wheel drive for the winter out in the country, or the middle of nowhere as the guys at work say. I decided on a GMC Acadia, but they didn't have any all wheel drives on their lot, so mine had to be ordered. They said that it could take up to six weeks to get it, but it was In in just over four weeks. I picked it up Saturday in the nice, snowy weather. I have only driven it a couple of days, but I like it so far!

Saturday night we went to Shawnee Prairie for the luminary walk with Justin, Tricia, Brooklynn, and Elliott. Aubrey and Elliot were snuggled up tight I. The wagon, we had a good time and Aubrey sat on Santa's lap.

Sunday we went. To the Boonshoft Museum for a birthday party, and then we did some Christmas shopping.

-A

Cute Kid

This should make anyone's day

Blessings

Thanksgiving was three days ago, and I'm sure that some of you shared what you were thankful for when you sat around the table with your family. That's not a tradition that my family has, we might have to start half an hour before we want to eat to get that done, but it wouldn't be a bad tradition. Anyway, I am thankful for many things, even though we've not had an easy year.

I'm thankful ...
that we have such strong faith that I dully trust that Ryan is in Heave with our Savior and we'll see him again someday.
that Aubrey loves going to Sandy's house, it makes going to work that much easier.
that my parents are always willing to come when I need them.
that Ron stops in to check on Aubrey and Me every couple of days.
that I have a job I love.
that we have many friend who care for us.
that my beautiful daughter reminds me so much of her wonderful daddy.
that Aubrey must have Ryan's dancing genes, because she was grooving on the dance floor Saturday night and she doesn't get that from me!
that my brother and his family have been coming to church.
that we have family traditions, like cutting down our Christmas tree. There are some pictures of the girls below.
that God is faithful, always.

-A

Happy Thanksgiving

The Wulber family wishes everyone a happy Thanksgiving. Aubrey and I celebrated with Ryan's family on Sunday evening. Today we are going to Germantown to celebrate with my family. Tomorrow we will have a big shopping day. We have a wedding on Saturday, and we'll pick out our Christmas tree on Sunday. Aubrey is ornery as ever!

-A

Ryan's Scholarship

I got online for the purpose of blogging about Ryan's memorial scholarship fund, and totally forgot that topic!

Last Friday, I was able to take a check for $14,772.62 to the HOPE foundation of Darke County to begin Ryan's scholarship. The endowment level for a scholarship to continue forever is $25,000 - that is my eventual goal. Before the pork loin benefit, we had a little over $3000.00 in the fund. I figured it would probably take three or four more years to do a couple of fundraisers to reach that goal, but then I received an email from Betsy, who was in charge of the benefit. They transferred over $10,000 into the account at the bank that was holding the other donations. I almost fell off my chair. Thank you so much to everyone who was so generous in giving for this cause.

We will be able to choose a scholarship recipient this year, if there are any qualified applicants. All applications for the graduating class of 2010 have already been submitted. The scholarship will hopefully be awarded yearly to a student planning to pursue agricultural education or a related agricultural field at a two or four year school. We will be giving preference to students from an FFA program or graduating from MVCTC.

-A

Staying Busy

Aubrey and I have had a busy week so far. On Sunday, we rested at Papaw and Mamaw's house - Aubrey and I both took naps! Monday after work, I had to take the van up to Celina and get the door looked at for a recall. Aubrey got to eat at McDonald's afterwards because she was so good at the dealership. Last night, Auntie Rachel came over for a while, and tonight when I picked Aubrey up, we went to Piqua to get her Christmas pictures taken. Afterwards, Mommy got to choose where we ate, and that's to close to Red Lobster to pass up!

Still muddling through information for Ryan's estate. I've got a couple specific issues I've been praying about, I appreciate all your prayers for us throughout. Our support means a lot to us.

-A

Rough Week

This has been a bit of a rough week for me. I haven't been sleeping very well and there are lots of things going on. I feel off kelter and I don't know why - I guess it is just one of those weeks. Kasich got elected, so I'm thinking that the face of public education is going to change, we'll see what happens. Here's the verse I'm focused on this week: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:23

I could use your prayers this week

-A

Big girl's new baby doll

Aubrey's reward for becoming potty trained was to be able to get a new baby doll. Last night, we had supper with a good friend and then I took Aubrey to the store to pick out her new doll. She chose a doll that giggles and laughs. She loves it and has slept with it the last two nights, we may have to rethink being able to sleep with the baby that makes noise!

On Friday night, Uncle Nathan and Auntie Rachel brought supper over to eat with Aubrey and me. Aubrey loves to play with Rachel and Nathan; after supper, it was time for her bath and bedtime. Aubrey got her stories read to her by Auntie Rachel and she was so excited. After Aubrey went to bed, Rachel and Nathan stayed to play board games. We had a fun evening.

I continue to work on preparing things for the will and praying that the process goes smoothly.

-A

Trick or Treating

We had a very busy weekend.

Friday evening we went out for supper with Ryan's family. Both his dad and brother had had birthdays in the past couple weeks, so we took them out to the Texas Roadhouse. Aubrey danced with the servers, but I was afraid to leave her to get my camera, so no pictures.

Saturday we went to the Pumpkin Hunt at Shawnee Prairie with our friends Brooklynn and Elliott (and their parents). I think all three kids had a good time. Aubrey and Brooklynn painted pumpkins, Aubrey painted her clothes as well!



Saturday evening my parents came over and brought Camryn, and Justin and Tricia brought Brooklynn and Elliott and we went trick-or-treating in Willowdell. Aubrey enjoyed it, but didn't want to leave her hood up.



Sunday we went shopping and Aubrey got a new stroller.

We're keeping busy, that's for sure! Things are going well. There are still many things to do for the will, etc. but I'm trying to chip away a little at a time.

-A

Shoes & Hangers

I have several pairs of size 10 shoes that were Ryan's that I have yet to find a fit for. If you're size 10, let me know.

I also have lots of plastic hangers that I need to get rid of!

-A

Crazy

I'm not sure what is crazier right now - work or home. There are so many things that I'm trying to do at home and some of my work overflows to home and vice versa; some days I feel like things are never ending. One night this week, I laid in bed for almost two hours before I finally fell asleep; I had way too many things running through my head.

I would appreciate your prayers for all that is stressing me out!

Aubrey is being her ornery, cute self. It is hard to get made at her, but sometimes she pushes all my buttons at once. She is doing excellent with her potting and we're trying to work on colors a little. She loves drawing and painting and I try to get her to tell me what colors she is using. Evenings are crazy, but fun with her.

-A

Cleaning Out Vehicles

My mom came up this morning and we cleaned out Ryan's car and moved it out from in front of the barn. I'm looking to sell the car; it doesn't do me much good since I can't drive it anyway. We also swept out the truck. Aubrey enjoyed getting to be outside so much, and she even talked Mamaw into pushing her on the swing a couple of times.

Tonight we are going to visit some of our friends. There will be a total of 11 kids there, so I expect Aubrey to have a great time.

-A

The Park

This afternoon, after I picked Aubrey up, we went to the park with our friends - Tricia, Brooklynn, and Elliott. Aubrey had a great time playing and I enjoyed visiting with Tricia. Aubrey woke up crying a couple of times last night, which is not like her. I took her to the doctor today and she has an ear infection. No fun!

I was reading a magazine earlier today and there was an article about the hour right before dinner when everyone is coming home from work, and no one is in a good mood. It suggests that you let the kids pull all the tissues out of the box, and then stuff them all back in later- sounds like something I could find useful. You might want to check the kleenexes before using them at my house!

I also had an appointment about the will today, things are moving, slowly, but moving. Please continue to keep me and that whole situation in your prayers.

-A

Thank You

I know that everyone who helped with the benefit, or supported it by buying dinners does not read this blog, but I would like to say THANK YOU to all involved. I went to help for an hour and ere were so many people there helping that they really didn't need me. I was amazed. We are so thankful to everyone's continued support. I'm sure Ryan was smiling down on it all yesterday.

-A

Great Wolf Lodge

Yesterday after work, we took off towards Cincinnati to visit Great Wolf Lodge. Ryan and I had made plans to take Aubrey back in the summer, but it didn't work out, so instead of losing money on my reservations, we took my parents and nieces along for the fun. I wasn't sure how much fun the adults would have, but I really enjoyed myself. I'm pretty sure that the kids had a great time! When we got there last evening, they were having trick-or-treat for the kids, so we had to do that first so we could get our fill of sugar. Then we headed to the watermark for about an hour. Score bedtime. This morning when we got up, we had breakfast, then headed to the water again. We ate our lunch next to the water so that we didn't waste too much swimming time. We headed back this afternoon.

A good friend of Ryan's came and looked at the truck tonight and we've got a deal worked out on that, now I think I' m going to work on selling the van.

I want to say thank you in advance to everyone who bought tickets to support the benefit and to all those who organized and are cooking and serving the meals. We appreciate all you are doing.

-A

Keeping On

There's not too much going on right now. We got the new door put on the porch last night. Aubrey wanted to swing tonight, but it looks like rain and is very windy! Russell also came last night to work on Aubrey's tub.

I've got some interest in Ryan's truck and it sounds like I might be able to do something next week.

-A

A Trip to Illinois

We traveled to Illinois this weekend. My cousin's wife is having a baby in November and we went for the baby shower. My mom, sister-in-law, nieces, and Aubrey went along in the van. The trip wasn't too long and Aubrey stayed dry the whole trip. She also got to sit in a fire truck, she thought that was pretty cool.

Tonight we got the gator out for a ride while we were cleaning out Ryan's truck. Aubrey also got to swing on her swing set. I worked on cleaning out a couple more kitchen cabinets. Just a little while ago I was sitting in the living room and heard a bang. I got up to yell at Georgia (the cat) for knocking done her food bucket, but when I opened the door, a skunk was scurrying up the side of the door to climb out. Guess I' ll have to get that door closed in!

She Did It

Thank you, Sandy! Aubrey went "stinky" on the potty yesterday. Sandy said it took her a little while of setting there before she was ready, but she finally did it. She was proud to tell me when I got there to pick her up.

Last night we stopped to see Grandpa and Grammy on the way home, then Aubrey played on her swing set and petted the mules. She loves being outside. I did fun things like pay bills and fold laundry :).

Tonight after work, we are going to the grocery. I told Aubrey that and she got excited. She enjoys going to town.

Please pray that all will go well with trying to sell Ryan's vehicles. I am looking at a new vehicle for myself, something that is 4-wheel drive, but I've got to get some good things out of Ryan's vehicles before I can get something new myself. I think the lawyer's office and the bank are trying to work something out, but I just continue to pray that God has the situation in his hands.


On another note - I'm not usually political, but I think we also need to pray about our who our new governor will be. I didn't really care to watch the debates last night, but I did and when John Kasich said that there are some counties in Ohio that have 6 schools and 6 superintendents and maybe 6 superintendents aren't really needed; that really hit home. I think there are probably schools in Ohio, not necessarily in Darke County, that could share superintendents, but I think that's a little scary to be talking about making those changes in a political campaign. I have heard other things that John Kasich wants to do - get rid of unions, the Ohio Department of Education, ESCs (that's where I work) - so although I would generally vote with the republican party, I'm doing some research and lots of praying to ask God for wisdom. I'm not saying that the way all of those entities operate are always the best way, but I know that the office I work in provides many services to our schools and the people that I work with enjoy their jobs and work hard. Education needs help, not more cuts and loss of resources. I'm not wanting to use this blog to tell you who to vote for, just wanted to share my thoughts.

-A

Doing Great

I would like to report that my child is very successful at being a big girl. She wants to do everything herself, including getting her supper. She did this last night and the whole of it ended up on the floor! Good thing it wasn't steaming hot and didn't land on her; she scared me. Really, it is fun to watch her be proud of herself for going to the bathroom on the potty and not in her underwear. She is wearing a pull-up at night and as soon as she gets up, she wants to get her underwear on. She is able to do so many things for herself, but she is still cuddly and loving and likes me to carry her and hold her. It gives me joy to watch her. I'm pretty sure that she has pink eye, but thankfully the doctor called in a prescription for her and didn't make me bring her in; I left work early yesterday to take her in for her flu shot.

Aubrey stayed at home with Auntie Rachel today and I heard that they rode in Grandpa's truck to haul wagons; I'm sure she was extremely excited about that. Tonight we are going to try to clean out her closet and find her some warm clothes, although I hear that it may be warming up again.

I've been missing Ryan a lot this week. I appreciate prayers for peace and comfort.

-A

Trying Them Out

As soon as Aubrey got up Saturday morning, she wanted to put her underwear on. So, we tried them out. I was a little nervous because we were going to my parent' and the school fair parade in New Madison, but I guess you have to start sometime. She did great. No accidents Saturday. She did well today until we got home this evening. She had been trying to have a bowel movement, and was just going little bits, so we had a few dirty pants, no big deal. I had brought her in the house and went back to the van to get the rest of our things, and she had an accident before I got back to the house. A little while later I asked her if she had to potty, she said no, then promptly had another accident. Two in row days, not too bad. I think I'll be In for extra laundry for a while.

Big Girl Panties

We got big girl panties tonight. Aubrey and I went to town tonight, we ate supper before we went to the store, and Aubrey wanted to sit in a booster seat. She got the seat all by herself and found a table, and put the booster seat on her chair. She's growing up! She had only one accident today. She did really well for me tonight, she went potty in Wal-Mart and at grandpa and grammy's when we stopped on the way home. I'm proud of her!

I got a massage, a hair cut, and I got my nails done today. I spent the day relaxing so I'm ready to face a few more weeks, one day at a time.

-A

Cleaning Up

My mom came over tonight and helped me clean up one of the extra rooms upstairs. We got rid of a bunch of old wood that was up there and started to organize things a little bit so I have some organized storage. It took a couple of hours to do just that one room. We started a little on the other room that's up there, but its going to take another night to get that one completely finished!

Aubrey must like Sandy's potty better than she likes the potty at home. She stayed dry all day today, even told Sandy two times that she had to go to the bathroom, but once we got home, she had a dirty pull-up and then she peed in her diaper. I asked her all evening long, but she wouldn't go for me!

I was losing patience tonight, maybe that was the problem. Ron and Russell got started on shelling the corn last night and they made a dent in the work. We put up new grain bins this summer/fall and Ron started on filling one of them today. Pray that things go smoothly.

-A

Lots of Phone Calls

I've been spending the last two evenings and when I had a free moment at work today making phone calls to change Ryan's name off of things and put mine on. Some things are very easy to take care of and others require lots of information and patience with the person on the other end of the phone.

Aubrey is quickly becoming a big girl. She "went poopy on the potty" her words yesterday at the baby-sitters. She wore big girl underwear part of the day today and a pull up the rest of the day. She went once in her pull up and started going once in the underwear, but stopped herself and got to the potty. We're going to town sometime this weekend to buy big girl panties for her!

-A

Lazy Sunday

I love Sundays! I took over Ryan's job of sleeping on my parents' couch this afternoon. I put Aubrey down for her nap after lunch and I was reading and my eyes got tired. I decided to just put the book down and rest them for a while; this is pretty unusual for me - I don't nap much, but it felt good.

After Aubrey finished her nap, we went to watch Kaitlyn cheer for the football game at Tri-Village, then headed home.

Aubrey was still a little tired and I think hungry because she cried most of the way home, but seemed find once we got here. She had her bath and went to bed, pretty quickly after supper.

I think we're having a "normal" week this week. I pray for Ron and Russell and they will be working on shelling the corn and planting wheat this week. I pray for rest and peace for Aubrey and I.

-A

One Month

Yesterday marked one month since Ryan went home to be with Jesus. Each and every day, we do something or hear something or I say something that reminds me of a fond memory of Ryan. Each day we pull in the driveway and drive past Ryan's car, Aubrey explains that that is Daddy's car and Mommy doesn't drive it. She's right, I don't! I tried once, it didn't go too well :)

I have been receiving letters for Aubrey's scrapbook and will continue to collect them for a while; I haven't decided yet exactly how I want to compile them. Thanks to everyone who has sent something; they are touching.

I haven't said a lot about how we feel God's presence since Ryan has passed, but he is surely with us. I know that many of you are praying for us daily and I truly appreciate that. I miss Ryan every day and I know that life has changed without him, but I believe that I am happy and that God is holding us right in the palm of his hand. He hasn't left us before and I don't believe he will in the future. As I'm typing this, I can hear the windchimes that are hanging on our front porch. I listen to them and smile. They always bring a smile to my face and are a pleasant reminder that Ryan did too.

-A

A Quiet Week

So far, this has been a quiet week. We've kept ourselves busy, but not running around too much. On Tuesday, I had a workshop and so I didn't get home from work until after 6:00, luckily, Sandy fed Aubrey supper so I didn't have to worry about that right away when I got home. Yesterday and today I worked a little long and we played outside on the swing set tonight when we got home. Aubrey also had to help me deliver some books tonight for an International Reading Association project I am working on.

This weekend is the Wulber Doo and we've got some of Ryan's family coming in from Virginia, so it will be fun to visit with them some.

-A

Another New Week

We begin again, each Monday marks another week where I realize that Ryan isn't here anymore and that life is changing without him, but moving forward. That is somewhat bittersweet because I know that he'd want us to be moving forward and while we're not forgetting him, we are learning to do things without him and I don't want that to happen.

This is a busy week for me at work - I'm in school buildings four of the five days and I worked late tonight. I deserved it though because I took off at 10:30 yesterday to take Aubrey to watch Ron race her favorite horse, Kaptain. He (the horse) unfortunately didn't do well in the race, but it was fun to go see Auntie Rachel and Grandpa.

Today Sandy took the kids to the park and Aubrey said she had fun. She now wants to go out and play on her swings, but I need to eat supper still. Guess we have a little time before she needs to head to bed, so we'll probably get to swing :)

-A

A Day of Rest

We didn't do a whole lot today. We went to church this morning and the sermon was titled Average Parents - it was all about putting our trust as parents into God and allowing him to help us raise our children and teaching our children that our ultimate goal is to honor and please God, not their parents. I hope that I am able to instill those principles in Aubrey as I raise her (with the help of family, of course).

After church we went to my parents' and had lunch with Jake and Brandi and their girls. The girls played a while and then Aubrey took a nap. My mom and I went to Kohls. I found a shirt and pair of shoes for Aubrey and bought myself a few pairs of pants. I saved over $200.00 . . . and Ryan would say - you would have saved more than that if you had stayed home! After we returned from the store, Aubrey was up from her nap, so we headed home. On the way, we stopped to visit Grandpa and Grammy. Auntie Rachel happened to be there as well, so we saw her and Uncle Russell too. We also got to pet all of Grandpa's horses, especially Captain, Aubrey's favorite.

We came home for a late supper, Aubrey played a while and went to bed - I'm going to do some reading and head that way myself before too long.

-A

Picking Pumpkins

Tonight we went to Justin and Tricia's house. We visited for a while, then Tricia and I took Brooklynn and Aubrey (Tricia's friend Mindy and her two boys went along as well) to get some pumpkins from a neighbor's "patch" down the road. When we got back to their house, the kids painted the pumpkins, and themselves, and the table, and me! They had a great time. They also amused themselves riding on Brooklynn's Barbie jeep and Emmitt and Owen's gator.

We left there a little after 8 tonight and Aubrey fell asleep almost immediately. She needed a bath though, so I had to wake her when we got home to take her bath. That went ok, she wasn't too whiney. She didn't get to read a story or rock before going to bed though since it was so late.

I didn't get as much cleaning done around the house as I wanted to today, but I got my desk a little more organized than it was and I tried to make a list of things that I need to be working on, so I feel a little better about the mound that was about to move itself from my desk to the floor!

-A

Meeting Old Friends

Tonight I went to Richmond with my parents. We were going to get something to eat and then do a little shopping; I've got a 30% off coupon for Kohls! We decided to eat at O'Charley's and when we arrived it was a little busy, we sent Mom in to check the wait and she came back to tell us 25 minutes. Meanwhile, she had run into some old friends, a former minister (and his wife, son, and granddaughter) from our church. Although the wait was 25 minutes, we decided to eat there so we could chat with them a little while. As it turned out, they got seated shortly after we got there, but less than 5 minutes later, they came back outside to tell us to come join them. They had managed to get the staff to seat them at a bigger table so that we could join them.

We had a great evening; their granddaughter had donuts for dessert, Aubrey also got to have one. They served them with icing, but Aubrey decided that she wanted to try hers with the left over sour cream from my baked potato - gross, right? Aubrey didn't think so - she loves sour cream :)

By the time we left the restaurant, one of the stores we had planned to go to was closed, the other we made it to about 10 minutes before closing (we didn't find what we were looking for), and the third we gave up on until Sunday. We really enjoyed our time with friends though, so it was all worth it.

I'm in a cleaning mood, so I plan on cleaning out and organizing the kitchen and maybe sifting through some of the books in our living room tomorrow; that's between loads of laundry and whatever else Aubrey has in mind for us.

Better get to bed so that I'm well rested when she decides to wake up!

-A

Slowing Down

I think that things are finally slowing down for us. I have been home "on time" for two evenings in a row now. That means that I have caught up on a few things around the house, there is still a lot left to do! I have also been able to play outside with Aubrey a little bit. Last week, I was so busy that I didn't feel like I had time to go outside and play with her. I know, we need to be living for the moment, but when there are stacks of paper in the mail that need to be completed for the future, it is a little difficult.

Aubrey's friend Landyn came over tonight and played for a little while. You would think that they haven't seen each other forever, but they see each other every day at Sandy's house. They were extremely excited :)

I have been sleeping a little better, in fact, last night I went to bed at 9:30, may just do that again tonight. Both Aubrey and I are fighting colds or sinus junk or something right now, so that wears you out anyway. Thank you all for continuing to check on us and pray for us.

-A

A New Week

On Saturday afternoon Aubrey and I, my parents went along too, went to Hillsboro to visit our friends Curtis and Karen and their 3 boys. We had planned to go to their fair with them, but when we got to their house, it was starting to rain, so we visited a while and then decided just to go into town and have supper. We ate Mexican, it was very good!

Sunday morning, we went to church with them and had the honor to witness Curtis get baptized; I'm sure that Ryan was watching from Heaven and rejoicing with God and the angels. It was bittersweet for me. I was very glad to be there, but I wish that Ryan could have been sitting beside me.

Today I had to go to Columbus for a meeting and so Aubrey got to go to Mamaw and Papaw's house. She rode the gator and lost Lilly (they found her).

I need rest; please pray that this week will not be too stressful and that I can get some extra sleep in.

-A

Running Around

Well, more acurately, I was driving around - all day. I had a lawyer's appointment yesterday morning to get things started to take care of Ryan's will. After that, I had to drive to Greenville and meet Rachel and Aubrey at the doctor's office because Aubrey had her two year check-up yesterday. I was expecting her to get a flu shot, they didn't have those yet, but lucky for Aubrey, they did have the Hib shot that they had been out of at 15 months so she got a shot anyways!

Rachel took Aubrey to McDonalds for lunch, but I couldn't stay, I had to drive to Piqua and go to the social security office to take care of the social security issues. I got home around 3:00 - Aubrey was napping, after visiting with Rachel for a while, I got a little work done before Aubrey woke up a little after 5 - a 3 hour nap!

After Aubrey got up, we went to some friends' house and make pizza sandwiches and roasted marshmallows over the fire. We got home late last night and Aubrey slept in until after 8 this morning.

My mom came this morning and helped me clean out my pantry area and clean up the summer kitchen. I also cleared some things out of my kitchen. I feel better when things are organized!

Day 2

I worked a full day in the office today; I am exhausted but I feel ok about going back to work.

Aubrey had a good day at Sandy's today. After work we went to Grandpa & Grammy's house and then later on we visited Aubrey's friend Greta and her new brother Simon. She enjoyed playing with Greta and holding Simon.

I've got a few appointments tomorrow to deal with some things that have to be tied up. Please pray that all goes well and everything falls into place.

-A

Overwhelming

My first day back was a little overwhelming, but not too bad. I had so much stuff piled on my desk from days that I stopped at work and dropped something off, but just left it lay that it took me at least and hour to get things put away and sorted through. I did manage to get some real work done today and a couple phone calls made as well.

Tomorrow is another day and I will continue to chip away at things a little at a time.

In Aubrey's Bible story tonight, we read about how God parted the Red Sea His people to walk through. The story told how God's people were panicking and saying that there was nothing they could do and Moses agreed with them - he told them that God would take care of things for them. I felt that that was a lesson to me as well. As I felt overwhelmed today with things at work and home, I have to remember that God is watching over me and guiding me if I just allow him to do that.

-A

New Look, New Address

Couple things to note: I'm going to change the blog address in a few days - it will be http://thewulberfamily.blogspot.com. Sorry for those of you who have it memorized, but I thought it might be easier not to have to log onto Ryan Wulber to see what Aubrey and I have been up to.

Also, Ryan's classmates are hosting a pork loin benefit in honor of Ryan. It will be held at the Goat Farmer's Ranch in Yorkshire on October 17 from 11-2. Meals are $6.00 for pork loin, au gratin potatoes, green beans, roll, and apple crisp. Meals are carry out only. I have tickets as do some of his classmates.

We drove to Pennsylvania in one day and were tired by the time we arrived. The trip took about 9 1/2 hours. I thought Aubrey would sleep at least 3 of them, ha ha. She ended up falling asleep about an hour before we stopped for lunch and so then she wasn't tired when we got back into the van. Not too long after that, we entered Pennsylvania and got on the turnpike - there we went through our first tunnel. After I told her there were probably more, she wouldn't close her eyes for anything. She loved the tunnels! We stayed with my friend Gretta and her family and the kids played on the playground Thursday evening before bath and bed time.



Friday we went to Chocolate World in Hershey. What a fun thing to do before lunch time!


After Chocolate World, Aubrey and I followed my friend Lindsey to her house where we spent the rest of our trip. Gretta and her family met us all Saturday morning in Strasburg to ride the train out into the countryside and back. Then we had lunch at a little cafe in town and got the kids the ice cream that we had promised them Friday.



We had a birthday party for Lindsey's daughter Caroline on Saturday evening. Sunday we went to church. Sunday's are hard for me because that's when Ryan and I spent the most time together - Aubrey was a bit of a distraction because she didn't want to go to her class during church, so she sat with Lindsey and I. Sunday evening we took the kids to see a ball game - the Lancaster Barnstormers beat the Camden Riversharks by 1 run! They had fireworks afterwards and a playground - so the kids were in heaven.


Monday before heading home we learned how to fold a pretzel at a pretzel factory and we rode in an Amish buggy. Then we drove the 9 1/2 hour trip home that I described last night.


I'm heading back to work tomorrow. Pray that all goes well.

-A

Trip to PA

Aubrey and I took a long weekend trip to visit friends in Pennsylvania. Ryan and I had planned to go for the past two summers and just didn't make it. I felt that it would be good to get away and have a break before returning to "normal" life. We had a great time and we are both very tired from the 9 1/2 hour drive tonight. One of those hours, divided into 3 different 20 minute segments, consisted of Aubrey screaming in the back of the van that she wanted to get out and nothing I did could calm her down! I think she really wanted to be out of the carseat and in her own bed. She has been in bed for an hour and I haven't heard a peep from her. I'll post pictures and fun stuff about our trip tomorrow.

-A

A Football Game

Aubrey went to Sandy's again this morning. I mowed the yard and took my van to the dealership to get a couple things looked at. This afternoon we picked Kaitlyn up at school and went to watch my cousin Justin play football. He only got to play a few minutes, but he played center and on one of the plays that he passed the ball, his team scored a touchdown!

We had a good time, Aubrey fell asleep on the way home because she only had a 45 minute nap today.

I would appreciate prayers for my sleeping patterns; I've been going to sleep fine, but having trouble sleeping all through the night so I toss and turn in the early morning then fall back asleep and when it is time to get up, I'm not rested.

-A

Back to Sandy's

Aubrey went back to Sandy's (her baby-sitter) for the first time since June today. It took her less than 10 minutes to decide that she'd rather stay and play than hang on Mommy and then she was gone. I called her around lunchtime to see how she was doing - she asked me to come pick her up and I told her later on and she seemed ok with that :)

I worked yesterday, delivering books and meeting new teachers. I was tired at the end of the day - I didn't sleep very well last night. I'm taking care of some things down at CTC today and then Aubrey and I will probably play on her swingset this afternoon.

She went to a horse sale with Grandpa and Auntie Rachel today, I'm sure she's having a ball!

-A

Posts Continue

I wanted to let everyone who has been following us for the past 18 months know that I plan to continue to keep up with this blog. One of these days, I will get around to changing the name and maybe even the design, if I get adventurous :).

We were extremely blessed (and continue to be each day I get the mail) with your kind words and hugs and prayers for our entire family Wednesday and Thursday. Ryan loved God, life, and other people and it truly showed. We are mourning and missing him, but he wouldn't have wanted our lives to stop and they will not.

Aubrey and I, along with my parents, Kaitlyn and Camryn, Rachel and Nathan, and Jake and Brandi visited the fair today. We rode rides, looked at the few animals that were left, laughed and enjoyed junk food! At one point, a butterfly landed on my watch, then flew away, returned, flew away, and then returned to my fingers. It was then stuck, I tried to shoo it away, but had to practically knock it off before getting on a ride. It then returned and landed in my hair. It felt special to me, like someone was smiling down on us.

Your prayers and remembrances will help us get through this tough period.

One request - A good friend of mine lost her father when she was young. She told me last night that just a couple of years ago, her mom gave her a book of things people had written about her father - a memory, a funny story, a thought about the type of friend or co-worker he was. If you would like to write something for me to keep for Aubrey, please send it to us. I will compile them and keep them for her.


-A

Arrangements

Zechar-Bailey funeral home is taking care of the arrangements.

Ryan's viewing will be held on Wednesday, August 25 from 3:00-8:00 at the Palestine Church of Christ, 209 Lynn Street, Palestine.

We will have a private family burial.

We will be celebrating his life in a service at 11:00 on Thursday, August 26, 11:00, Palestine Church of Christ.

Thank you for all the comments, prayers, and visits. We all miss Ryan and will grieve, but we will continue in God's strength because he has not left us or forsaken us.

-A

God's Promises

God promises that in heaven there is no pain and no suffering. Ryan went home to be with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ this morning a little after 9:00. Aubrey and I were here, along with Ryan's sister and brother-in-law. Ryan passed peacefully and he is now rejoicing in Heaven with the angels.

Arrangements will be made later today and I will post information here.

-A

Visitors

We had several visitors today. It is enjoyable to sit and talk with people, Ryan didn't wake up for many people, but he did open his eyes and look around a few times.

I have been able to turn Ryan's oxygen down to between 11 and 12. He's saturation has been 93-95. We may turn it down just a little more tomorrow, but I don't think it will be able to go down much more. I wish we could get it so that he didn't have to wear the mask for oxygen because it doesn't appear to be comfortable on his face at all, but right now he needs that, so we're doing our best.

Ryan did sleep most of the day, and didn't use a lot of extra pain medicine. That means he's at least not waking up in pain, which is comforting to me.

It is a struggle to see him look so sick, and I pray constantly that he is comforted and at peace.

-A

A Little Better

Ryan seems maybe just a little better than yesterday. He wasn't alert near as much today, but when the nurse came tonight, she said his breathing was even and that his lungs sounded much better than when she was here on Thursday. That was great news, thank you God.

Ryan is still having a lot of pain and is still on lots of oxygen. We may try to turn that down a little tomorrow when I can watch him and check his breathing. He was to be finished with antibiotics tomorrow night, but Dr. Berger decided that he'd like to extend that for 5 more days, so we will continue antibiotics through next Friday.

Ryan had a few visitors today and I got the chance to visit with some good friends this evening. True friends who will listen are not always easy to come by, but we're thankful for the truly Seuberts and the Wuebkers.

Aubrey stayed at home last night, and she climbed up the side of Ryan's bed tonight, but she went home to stay with my parents' tonight. She'll come back tomorrow night and stay here with me.

I continue to pray for Ryan's pain and breathing discomfort to be taken care of.

-A

Platelets Again

Ryan's nurse came this morning and checked on him. He was fairly alert most of the morning. He sat on the couch almost the whole time, but was able to communicate and was awake for a good several hours. He tried eating some applesauce and grapes, but wasn't able to swallow very well, so most everything he got down, he coughed back up.

The nurse called around 1 with his blood results. His white count is still hanging around at 1.3. This is good from the leukemia standpoint - it isn't coming back up at breakneck speed, but not so good with the pneumonia or whatever bacteria he has because his body isn't able to fight the infection away. His hemoglobin was 10.1 which is still low (I think) but getting closer to normal. His platelets were 11 today and so he got 2 bags of platelets.

I'm still giving him the antibiotics and he's now one oxygen with a mask because I drove him to the hospital and we didn't have protable oxygen to take with us. When we got there and they tested his oxygen level it was in the 50s. It is supposed to be 100, but in the hospital, they give you oxygen if it goes below 90. They put him on a mask so he was able to get more oxygen then just through the nostril pieces. Consequently, Ryan had to ride home tonight in the ambulance because he needed oxygen to go home, but I didn't have any in my van, go figure!

Ryan is sleeping pretty comfortably right now and he has been for about 2 hours.

On a brighter note, Aubrey went to the fair with Grandpa and Grammy tonight and she had a blast. They got home a little before 10 and she was still going strong. Grandpa (Ryan's dad) had a horse in one of tonight's races, so they watched a few of the races and walked around a little bit. She had fun for sure. She is ready to ride some rides though, so I think we're going to have to make a trip or two ourselves.

Continually praying for Ryan's comfort and peace.

-A

God is Faithful

Ryan has been in pain and discomfort today. He was struggling to breath evenly, he was in pain when moving around on the couch and walking to the bathroom; he hasn't eaten or drank much of anything because both actions cause him to cough, which causes more pain. As of right now, he is comfortable. The nurse was out again this evening and the pharmacy brought an oxygen machine so after all the pain medicine, several breathing treatments, and oxygen, he is resting comfortably (I think).

He hasn't been awake much today but there have been a couple of different times where he's talked to me, or at least shook his head to answer my questions.

His nurse will be out again in the morning and he'll have his blood drawn. It is likely that he'll need platelets again, I'm not sure about blood.

Thank you Jill for supper tonight, one less thing I had to worry about today :)

Please continue to pray for God's blessings on our family and comfort and peace for all of us.

-A

A Rough Night

Ryan had a rough night after I posted last evening. After finishing his supper, he wasn't able to keep it down and then things got a little worse from there. He was coughing and getting sick so much that his pain flared up again so he was in a large amount of pain. We had the nurse come out and she gave him some extra meds and that helped calm him. He slept ok - waking up about 3 times over night.

This morning he was running a fever and his breathing is labored. He is still coughing a lot of stuff up and is uncomfortable.

I pray for him to be comforted.

-A

Administering Antibiotics

I have now taken on a new role - I have had to administer two doses of Ryan's antibiotic here at home and will continue that for 4 more days. Ryan is still coughing quite a bit, in fact, he is still trying to eat supper amidst the coughing. He told me that overall the coughing has been better today, but when I listen to him tonight, it doesn't sound very good.

Aubrey and I went to Muncie to Chuck E. Cheese's with our Summer in the Son program at church. We also did some shopping at Rural King for Ryan.

Please pray that the coughing will begin to subside and he will be able to eat better tomorrow.

-A

No Blood Today!

Praise the Lord - today is the first time since Ryan's had blood drawn in the last two weeks that he has not needed to get blood. He did need to get two bags of platelets, but his platelet count was up some from last week. One week ago, it was 3 before the transfusion, today it was 14. That's not a huge jump, but it is a move in the right direction. Ryan would have been ready to leave when I got to the hospital to pick him up after work except that he had been coughing a lot while there and they decided to do a chest x-ray.

Heather, his nurse today, was on the phone with Dr. Berger when I got there after work and a trip to the grocery store. She told me that Dr. Berger wanted to talk with me. Ryan's chest x-ray showed stuff in the bottom of his left lung which they think is pneumonia and Dr. Berger thought it would be best for him to be admitted to the hospital to be treated. Ryan strongly did not want to be admitted to the hospital, so by the time Dr. Berger, Adam, and Heather talked things over, it was decided that Ryan would get a dose of antibiotics and then be sent home to get antibiotics in his IV from home. That means I'll have to hook things up and make sure all is working, but after giving shots, I think I can handle that!

Things went well today and I'm grateful for everyone who was taking care of Ryan and keeping his needs and health in mind.

We pray that the antibiotic does its job and that Ryan's cough breaks up and all is well within a couple of days.

Ryan's white count was 1.39 today - still looking very good.

-A

Not Much Change

Things are going about the same today as yesterday. Ryan is still coughing quite a bit and doesn't hardly have a voice. He ate a little better today than he did yesterday and was up maybe a little bit more today than yesterday.

The nurse comes tomorrow morning to draw his blood, so we'll find out around lunch time whether we'll make another trip to Wayne Hospital for blood or platelets. I'm hoping that his hemoglobin level has finally gotten enough help to stay up and that if he needs anything that it will just be platelets.

I have to go back to work tomorrow. Although I love my job, I always hate having to go back when summer is over . . .

I think that I have neglected to mention on here that Ryan will not be going back to work this fall. He has decided that the best thing to do is take a medical leave of absence from MVCTC. This will last for 1 semester. If he is feeling better in January, he can return to work at that time.

Thank you for your continued prayers for Ryan.

-A

Sleepy Sunday

Ryan didn't think he'd have enough energy for church this morning, so I took him to my parents' and dropped him off before Aubrey and I went to church. After church we had lunch with my family and Ryan rested. Aubrey and Camryn swam with Grandma for a while and then Aubrey napped.

Ryan had a lot of coughing and gunk in his throat today. He didn't eat a whole lot of lunch or supper. I think that as he gets up and moves around more, he doesn't cough as much, but he doesn't have enough energy for staying up for long periods of time right now.

The sermon at church this morning was about prayer and how James tells us that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. We were reminded that prayer changes things and to not be anxious about things because God is near and he hears us.

We daily continue to pray for Ryan to regain his strength.

-A

A Nice Day

Today was a good day. We got up around 8:00 this morning, slept in a little bit :) Aubrey and I lounged on the couch and Ryan worked on cleaning his desk out. Then he and Aubrey played for a while when I took a shower. Then Ryan escaped outside, never to be seen again - ha ha. There were people here working again today, so he had to be outside checking things out, making sure everyone was ok. Later on, we left for Greenville to do a little banking and get some milk. Ryan and Aubrey both slept on the way to town. Aubrey napped when we got home and Ryan spent a couple hours outside before coming in to eat lunch and read up on some brake literature, sounds interesting to me!

When Aubrey got up we played outside, then Ryan's parents came for a visit. After supper Ryan took a short walk with Aubrey and I.

He is feeling better each and every day, and we continue to pray that God blesses as we take this one day at a time.

-A

God Blesses Us

each and every day. Ryan's parents, his sister and brother-in-law, and my dad took turns staying with Ryan yesterday while Aubrey and I went to the Columbus Zoo and Zoombeezi Bay (waterpark). We had a blast and Ryan had a pretty good day as well. He was up and outside with his dad in the morning and was cleaning up his desk and other parts of the house in the afternoon. Of course, he was alseep on the couch waiting for his supper when I got home at 7:00.

I was talking to Sandy (our baby-sitter) on the phone when I pulled in the driveway last night. I was speechless when I saw the number of cars that were parked at our house. Ryan had told me some people were coming over to work around the barns and such, and so I expected maybe 15 - there were more like 40! Ryan and I walked around this morning and he is so excited about everything that was done. If you helped, thank you greatly.

Ryan had to get 2 bags of blood and 2 bags of platelets again today. Today wasn't near as fast as Tuesday, I'm not sure what happened exactly, but he's home now and we're getting ready to call it a night.

Ryan was up and outside again today. He napped some while he was at Wayne Hospital, but when he got home, he had to check out all the work that got done around here tonight. The crew must have been here again, but we missed them while in Greenville, waiting for the blood to finish dripping in. I think it may have been going drop by drop, instead of flowing in . . .

Ryan's white count is starting on its way back up; his platelets and hemoglobin were both up from Tuesday, but just not quite far enough. He has made some progress and seems to feel better each day, so we're very thankful for that.

We continue to pray that his white count stays under control as it begins to build back up and that his hemoglobin and platelet levels can begin to hold their numbers and start growing so we have less time to spend in the hospital.

-A

A Rough Day

Today was a bit rough for Ryan and the rest of the family as well. Ryan did not sleep hardly any last night and this morning was up when I woke up. He was incoherent and very tired. He laid back down at about 7:30 and stayed until the nurse arrived a little before 10. I then left to head to church and his sister Rachel stayed here. She said Ryan slept after the nurse left and he was still sleeping when I arrived home at 12:00. He slept until around 3:00 when we met with Sam Custer about Ryan's plans for work this year and then he was back to sleep. He got up around 7 and started getting some supper ready and then fell back asleep. He finally ate around 8:00. He is in some pain right now, but he's still up and moving around a little.

No fever or anything today, just a little confusion. We pray for a better day tomorrow.

-A

World Record

We had a wonderful weekend with our friends here. My mom told me that it sound as if everyone who went to the wedding except Ryan and I had fun - that's not true. Ryan and I enjoyed ourselves very much as did everyone else. We even got to dance together for a short time.

On Monday, another friend from college and her husband and son came over and so we all got to visit together before Lindsey and the kids had to head towards Pennsylvania and we had to figure out a new routine - still don't have that down yet - that's why I'm not blogging every night.

Today the nurse came out a little after 8 this morning, Ryan was pretty tired. He didn't sleep real well last night. After the nurse, a social worker came out to visit with us. Then we had some lunch and got ready to head to Wayne Hospital. Ryan needed both blood and platelets today, platelets were really low at only 3,000 (normal is over 150,000). Here's the world record part: Ryan got 2 bags of platelets and 2 bags of blood and he was only at the hospital for 4 hours and 15 minutes! I figured he'd be there until around 10:00 tonight, but I picked him up at 6:45. We stopped down at his parents' before coming home and Ryan took a short drive in one of the tractors, then showed Aubrey the mules. He is now "watching TV" or watching the backs of his eyelids :)

Ryan is still experiencing pain, although it is getting to be better controlled. He is also still very fatigued and is trying to regain his strength.

-A

Birthday Fun

Yesterday was Aubrey's birthday and she had to take a trip to the doctor. She is ok, just allergies bothering her. She coughed a lot last night, we'll see how tonight goes. We had a wedding reception to attend yesterday and we had guests come to visit us. The friends that we were going to visit in Pennsylvania came to visit us since we couldn't make it out there. Aubrey and Lindsey and Ben's two children, Sam and Caroline enjoyed themselves at Curt and Monica's reception.

Today after church we had Aubrey's birthday party and she had a blast. She was very into her presents and the animals on her birthday cake. She enjoyed licking the icing off the feet of the animals and then dipping the animal back into the cake for more icing.

Ryan stayed home from church today so that he could enjoy Aubrey's party. He made it though most of it before having to take a nap. He slept most of the afternoon, but has been up since around 5:30. He's still having some pain in his back and shoulders and he is running a fever again tonight.

We continue to pray that Ryan gains strength each and every day and that we can get his pain under control.

-A

Feeling Better

Ryan's fever went up overnight and then down and up again. He also had a lot of pain overnight and we called a nurse who came and "tweaked" his pain medicine dosage to help him sleep a little better. It was finally under control mid-morning. Ryan was up shuffling around most of the morning and then ate lunch and took a nap. When he got up from his nap he was sweating and his fever had broke. I think it is still down. Although, I think Aubrey is running a bit of a fever. She may have to go to the doctor next!

We continue to pray that God is healing Ryan through this and each day we are seeking his guidance in getting us through that day.

-A

Keeping On

Today we had a nurse come out to the house to draw Ryan's blood. We are hoping that this arrangement will lessen the time that he has to be setting at Wayne Hospital waiting for blood results and then blood or platelets if he needs them. Ryan's white count was .1 on Monday and .26 today. It is beginning to come up from the chemotherapy two weeks ago. His platelets were 7 so he had to get some platelets today, but his hemoglobin was 9.4, so that wasn't needed today.

Except for one small handle on the sandbox cover, the swingset is done! We also got the cistern covered tonight so it will be safer outside for Aubrey and other kids who come to play. Thanks to Ben, Jason and Amy, and my parents for getting the work done!

Ryan is running a fever tonight. Please pray that it will go away.

-A

Recovering

Ryan is still scheduled to get his blood drawn every Monday and Thursday at Wayne Hospital. He went yesterday morning, I dropped him off at 8:00. He called around 10 and said that he would have to get blood and platelets, both counts were low. No big deal - I'd pick him up around 6 or so after I picked up Aubrey at my parents. So, I finished up my work in the office, then went back home to mow the yard. I talked to him again around 1:00, he was just getting started with his first of two bags of blood and his picc line wasn't working, so each bag was going to take 3 hours! He called again around 5 and the second bag was going. I finally picked him up at 7:45 - what a long day.

He and I were both frustrated that a whole day was wasted there, but he was feeling a bit tired and the blood helped. He is still having some pain in his shoulder. He thinks it is a nerve, but it really bothers him sometimes. Please pray that his pain will be gone and that he builds strength each and every day. Our big birthday party for Aubrey is on Sunday!

-A

Home Again

Sorry it took me so long to post that we are home, again. We got home around 7 last evening and unpacked a few things. Aubrey went for a snack and I found that I had an infestation of ants! When I moved a few more things, I found that I also had a mouse or the evidence of a mouse. If it returns tonight - it will be no longer! I spent most of today cleaning out the pantry and Russell put a new piece of wood in the back to reinforce and cover the holes. I put out lots of traps. I still have ants, but I've moved everything until we can get that problem taken care of.

Ryan slept a lot today. He feels ok, just doesn't have hardly any energy at all. I'm taking him to Wayne Hospital tomorrow for a blood draw - hopefully his platelets are staying up and he won't need an infusion.

We pray for strength for Ryan.

-A

Blood, Chemo, Platelets, Oh MY

Ryan has been hooked up to his IV machine today - getting lots of stuff! His hemoglobin was 7.1 this morning so he is getting 2 bags of blood. His platelets were down to 12, so he will be getting a bag of platelets when the blood is done. He is also about 2 1/2 hours away from finishing a 12 hour bag of chemo. At 2:30, he'll be starting another chemo - that will last just 1 hour. Then, he'll be done with chemotherapy. The doctors have said that they would allow him to go home this afternoon if he wants, he's not sure yet what he'll do. He is having some joint pain and has been taking morphine for that. This pain started after the transplant and it seems that every time he gets chemo, he has the pain more often. He is sleeping now.

He is otherwise subdued, but the doctors say that he looks better today than he did yesterday. Also, his chemistry levels are better today than they were yesterday and the doctors feel comfortable letting him come home when he is ready.

-A

Back in Columbus

I think scarlet and gray are starting to grow on Ryan, ha ha. We came to his appointment on Tuesday hoping that maybe they would get good blood results back so that we would think the temperatures were coming from an infection, but that was not the case.

Ryan's white count wasn't too high - 7.7 ( in the normal range), but it was up from 2.3 the day before and there were blasts in the blood, not there on Monday.

Dr. Devine gave us a choice - go home or try one other chemotherapy regimen that will hopefully make Ryan feel better. We not sure at this point as to our next steps. Ryan's fever did come down earlier this evening, so we are thankful for that.

-A

Not Feeling So Well

Last night before he went to bed, Ryan was running a bit of a fever, it was still hanging on this morning. When he got to the hospital to get blood drawn, it was gone. By the time his platelets arrived, his fever was back up a little and when he came home, it was around 99.3.

We put some plastic under Aubrey's swing set, so we're ready to put the sand it. We need a cover for it though - Ryan talked about how he could probably make one, but it appears that we might be headed back to the hospital. Just as we were getting ready to eat supper, Ryan got sick and then his fever went up to 100. We are headed to Columbus first thing tomorrow morning, so please keep us in your prayers. Ryan's white count was 2.3 today, still below normal so we're not sure exactly what's going on. Ryan thinks he may have to be admitted. I'm praying that his fever will go away and he will regain his strength quickly.

-A

A Little Tired

Ryan has been a bit tired today. He thinks that maybe his hemoglobin is a little low - if so, they'll give him blood tomorrow at Wayne Hospital. He napped for most of the afternoon at my parents' house. He put the canopies on the swing set tonight, just a couple more things and it will be completely done! He felt a little nauseous before supper and so he took some nausea medicine and laid down - he hasn't gotten up yet to eat supper.

We pray that this is just passing nausea and that his counts are jumping rapidly again.

-A

Enjoying Life

Ryan and I both worked on Friday and then went to our friends' house - Wade and Jacci - for a wonderful supper and a time to catch up a little. Aubrey and Isaac and Luke played hard and Aubrey fell asleep in the car not long after we left their driveway.

Today we went to the Annie Oakley parade with my parents and niece, Camryn. It was hot, but we found a shady spot where the wind was blowing a little and it wasn't too bad while we were watching the parade.

A friend of Ryan's from college (and his girlfriend) came to visit this afternoon and he and Ryan put up some curtains and a set of blinds for me. Now Ryan is at a bachelor party and I've got the rest of the evening to myself.

Ryan goes back to Wayne Hospital to get blood drawn on Monday and then a trip to Columbus on Tuesday.

We continue to pray for strength for Ryan and that his numbers recover as they are supposed to.

-A

More Platelets

Ryan went to Wayne Hospital for his blood draw again today and stayed all day for more platelets. They like to keep him above 10, but he was 18 today and they called Columbus and the clinic said that they want to try to keep him above 20 now, so he had to stay for a bag of platelets; he got home around 3:30. It didn't take quite as long as it did on Monday.

My mom came today and helped me finish cleaning up in the house; I've been wanting to do some "spring" cleaning. It was a little late, but at least I got it done :) I finally got my office put back together. Ever since Ryan got me my new bookshelf for mother's day I've been wanting to get my books organized and the room rearranged, but I would do a little and then get sidetracked - everything got put back in its place today.

We were blessed to have several of Ryan's friends here tonight helping clean some things up around the house and the barn. They worked for almost 3 hours and made a huge dent in some of the projects that we've been talking about getting done. Thank you so much guys!

Aubrey even got to have a few visitors tonight, Greta and Landyn came over with their moms tonight (both of their dads were here working) and the three of them played on the swingset and with tractors for a long time. It didn't take much to get Aubrey in bed tonight, she was tired!

Thank you God for great friends and family.

-A

Moving Along

Things are going well here at the Wulber household. Ryan went to Wayne Hospital yesterday to get his blood drawn - both the lines on his picc line were closed so it took them a while to get orders and such to be able to work on it to get it opened. They finally got things fixed and he got a bag of platelets and was home about 4:30 - so much for doing anything yesterday :)

I on the other hand, was very productive. With my mom's help, I got my upstairs cleaned and got two rooms downstairs cleaned. I also mowed the yard and later I cleaned out my van and even washed all the bugs off the front. I'm in a cleaning mood for some reason. I am trying to get my office straightened out - I plan to have it done by the end of the week.

Ryan and I worked on the swingset a little on Saturday, but haven't had the chance to get back at that yet, but another couple of hours and we think we'll have that finished. We are getting new doors and handles installed as I type on our porch and the back of the house. I'm excited to get that done! Our bricks are almost finished - Chris just has to come back and wash everything down. We're checking projects off our list, unfortunately the summer is also dwindling - there's more that I want to do!

Ryan goes back to Wayne to get his blood drawn again Thursday. His hemoglobin was 9 yesterday and his white count was still down at .24. We are praying for his platelets to come up on their own by Thursday and that his white count is still under control. We go back to Columbus next Tuesday to see Dr. Devine and figure out how things will play out.

Ryan went to work this morning and worked half a day and he's working on scheduling some more student visits before school starts - I think he's ready to head back to school and get some routine, me too!

We prayed for a miracle Sunday and we're living every day as if that's coming true. Please continue to pray for healing with us.

-A

Lazy Sunday

I think Sundays are my favorite day of the week. We go to church and I almost always feel better about life when I leave church. Then we go to my parents' house and have lunch, most times Jake and Brandi and the girls come over too and we all have a good time at lunch and visit for a while afterwards. Aubrey and Ryan usually take naps so I get some time to read. Sometimes we swim, sometimes we stay for supper - it just depends. We usually don't have anything else planned for the day, so we just play it by ear.

Today after church, much of the church family stayed around and we had a little prayer time for Ryan (and Aubrey and I). That was an emotional time, but comforting as we know so many people are praying and believing for God's healing of Ryan.

We also celebrated Kaitlyn's birthday tonight at the Golden Corral - supper was good and the fellowship was wonderful.

Ryan is working on something for school right now and I think I'm joining him on the couch here shortly.

-A

Working Again

Ryan doesn't take much down time. He was up and outside at 8:00 this morning. They were pouring the footer for new grain bins we're putting up, so he had to check things out. Also, last night when we left Relay for Life, my van had a flat tire, so he took that to town to get fixed. He worked on the swing set when he got home and then took a nap, then worked on the swing set a little more. We have only a couple more things to finish up and it will be done :) Aubrey used the swings and slide today and she had a blast.

I drug him to the grocery tonight; he and Aubrey ended up staying in the car though. We're taking it easy tomorrow.

We continue to pray that God is healing Ryan through his power or through the medicine and that his white count will remain under control so that in a few weeks he is able to get some of Russell's immune cells.

-A

Relay for Life

Tonight, Darke County held its annual Relay for Life event. Ryan was able to participate for the second year in a row. Ryan was pretty darn sure that he was coming home today and when the doctor came in this morning, he asked her if she had any reason to keep him in the hospital, she couldn't come up with one, so she let him go. His white count is still low - .4; his platelets were 6 today, so he got a bag of platelets and he also got blood. His hemoglobin wasn't too low, but since he isn't getting his blood drawn until Monday, she wanted to make sure his counts stayed up until then. We left around 2:15, sat in traffic on 70, and got home a little after 5. We enjoyed the evening in Versailles at Relay for Life for about 3 hours then headed home to bed.

We are thankful that our family is all sleeping under the same roof tonight.

-A

Wanting Out

Ryan told me first thing this morning that they put him on all pill antibiotics. He said the nurse practitioner told him that she'd get him out as soon as possible. Ryan is sure it will be tomorrow. Unless they need to watch him for some reason, I think he probably will get to come home tomorrow. It is possible that he'll need to get some platelets before we head home, so we'll see what they say in the morning.

They unhooked Ryan from his IV pole for a walk again tonight. We walked all around downstairs and then walked outside around about half of the hospital. It was warm, but the wind was blowing a bit and Ryan was happy to get outside. He is feeling well. His hemoglobin came down a little from yesterday; his platelets also came down - they are 12 today. His white count was .4 this morning.

**********

My mom has asked her email friends, family, and our church family to join in prayer this Sunday at 12:00 noon for Ryan's healing and I just want to extend that invitation to anyone who reads this blog. We will surely be blessed by the prayers.

Thank you all so much for loving and caring for our family by holding us up in prayer.

-A

Chemo's Over

Well, Ryan has had his final dose of chemo for this hospital stay. We pray it is the final dose of chemo for the rest of his life. I was back home today, doing laundry, paying bill, etc. and I talked to him several times - seems like I always happen to call when he's trying to eat :). When I called his this evening around supper time, he was actually out walking in the hallway. He likes to walk down on the first level because there are lots of places to walk and he gets a nice bit of exercise. He was doing an even longer loop today than what we normally do.

Ryan's white count was down to .6 today. His platelets were 14 and his hemoglobin was 9.2. He is feeling well, but couldn't get his doctor to tell him when he might be able to come home yet; he'll keep pestering.

We pray for things to continue to be positive and that the doctor's and nurses are thinking about what is best for Ryan in making future decisions.

-A

Moving Up

Ryan changed rooms again today. He was doing well and there obviously was a patient who needed the higher level of care that Ryan had been getting, so he was moved to the 10th floor and someone else was given his room. Ryan was unhooked from the heart monitor and backed way off his fluids today. After his morning antibiotics ran, he was unhooked from the IV machine and was able to take a shower. We visited with Mike today until lunchtime and then after lunch we took a nice long walk around the first floor and the 11th floor. Ryan started asking the doctor when he's going to get to come home; the doctor wouldn't commit to anything today.

Ryan will have chemo night starting around 9 and then again tomorrow around 9 in the morning; then he'll be finished with what we pray is the last chemotherapy he will need.

Ryan's white count was .8 today; hemoglobin was 8.7; we don't know what is platelet count was. The nurse gave him a count sheet, but it was after I left and he says the platelet count wasn't on there. He ate well today. He said they came in this morning and asked him about what he wanted for lunch, but when lunch came, it wasn't what he ordered. I got him nuggets from Wendy's. He said his supper was much better tonight.

Here's something Ryan had in his email and we listened to today - kind of interesting to think about.



We thank God continually for showing us his blessings.

-A

Constant Checking

I started the day with a phone call from the nurse practitioner - she wanted to inform me that overnight Ryan had had a temperature of 102.4 and his blood pressure dropped and heart rate went up again as it did the other night. Ryan was feeling better when she called and she told me that he was sitting up in bed reading a phone book. I thought that was pretty strange for Ryan, so once we were done talking, I called him. He was in bed, eating breakfast, and I asked him about reading the phonebook. He said he wasn't reading the phone book and so I asked him what he was reading. He told me that he was reading the Fastline (tractor ads and such), I thought that was quite funny that the nurse practitioner that it was a phone book. :)

Around 9:30, Aubrey, my mom, and I got to the hospital. Ryan was awake for a while, but then fell asleep, so Aubrey amused herself by pushing her stroller around and then drawing on the white board in the room. Around 11, she and mom took off to head for home.

Ryan's white count was down to 1 today, platelets were 10 and so he got a bag of platelets, his hemoglobin was 8.3 and so he didn't need any blood today. Ryan's temperature has been hanging out around 99 today, it was 97 the last time they took it around 8. His blood pressure was low this morning and they've been watching it all day - the last two times they've taken it, it was getting much closer to normal.

The doctors are watching his chemistry levels very closely because as the chemotherapy kills the white blood cells, they break down and release potassium, calcium, magnesium, etc. into his blood. They have to make sure these levels stay in a certain range, so they check these levels two to three times during the day. Things look good tonight. He has been sleeping since after he ate supper. He hasn't needed any nausea or pain medicine today, so that is a positive note.

He will have two more doses of chemo, tomorrow night and Wednesday morning. Then we will see after that how he is feeling, what his counts are doing, and then they'll decide when he gets to come home. Hopefully, not too many days after; it is nice to stay in a hotel, but when it isn't for a fun trip, it isn't so fun (although Aubrey likes the swimming pool).

Prayers for Ryan's temperature to stay down and his blood pressure to level off at normal. We are also prayerful that the chemo will be strong enough to get the leukemia under control so Ryan will be able to get some immune cells from Russell to give his immune system a boost.

-A

Ups and Downs

Overall, Ryan seems to be doing better today than yesterday. I think things were actually going well, until I arrived . . .

First of all, I sat in traffic for an hour on the way over here because there was an accident on 70 and I couldn't get around. So, when I finally got here, some of our friends Todd, Julie, and Chloe were here. After they left Ryan napped for just a little while, then Dr. Marinella (Ryan's oncologist from MVH) peeked his head in and then visited for a while.

After the visitors were gone, things went a bit downhill. Ryan's temperature had been hovering in the 99's all day, the last temperature taken was 100.4. His blood pressure has been generally low, it was a little high the last time they took it.

A good bit of news - he is off the oxygen he had been on since Friday night. His white count was 2.8 the last time his blood was checked, which is good, but there are still many blasts (a sign of the leukemia) in the cells that are there. He will start chemo again tonight around 9:00. He had to get platelets and blood today because both counts were low, but that was done by the time I got here and the counts came back looking better.

Ryan also got sick a little tonight and then took some nausea medicine, so now he's sleeping, but he's a bit restless. He has not yet eaten any supper, but he says he's going to try it; he ate both breakfast and lunch today.

I was happy to see Ryan perked up and sitting up in bed when I arrived today; a little disheartened that he got sick and isn't feeling the greatest right now. We pray and believe tonight that his fever will finally let loose and go away and that he is able to eat some supper and have a good night's sleep.

-A

A Better Day

Today seemed to go a little smoother and not quite as exciting as yesterday. Things we are thankful for:
1. Ryan's temp was 99.8 last time it was checked.
2. Ryan's white count came down from 42,000 this morning to 8,000 at about 6:00 tonight.
3. Aubrey is allowed in Ryan's room, she visited today.
4. Ryan's blood pressure seems to be normal, as does his heart rate, and pulse.
5. Ryan's chemistries from the last blood draw this afternoon looked "almost normal" (doctor's words).
6. Dr. Devine stopped in, just to tell Ryan that he has been thinking about him and that he's sorry he's back in the hospital.
7. Aubrey is sleeping in her own bed.
8. I will be sleeping in my bed soon.
9. Ryan seemed more alert and remembered to call me after they took him temp at 10:00.

God is great, all the time.

Please continue to pray for Ryan's temperature to return to normal. He is also holding a little fluid, so pray that that will begin to go away.

The first two doses of chemo are over, they will begin again with two doses 12 hours apart either tomorrow morning or tomorrow night around 9. This every 12 hours, then off 24 has me confused as to when it begins :)

-A

Never a Boring Moment

Some people review their lives and realize that they very seldom did anything exciting. I cannot say that about Ryan and I, and especially Aubrey. Our lives have a been a whirlwind of activity, but in the last few sleepless nights - watching Aubrey try to sleep in her stroller, watching Ryan sleep in a hospital bed right across the room, I thank God that I'm not living a boring life. Some days it would sure be easier to know that when I make plans to do something, whatever I plan will come to pass, but that rarely happens in our family. I think I have a "go with the flow" daughter for that reason :)

I left the hospital yesterday a little after 4 and headed towards my parents' house to pick up Aubrey. We ended up meeting in Greenville and eating supper, and then headed to walk around Farm Power of the Past because I figured Aubrey would enjoy seeing the tractors. Little did I know so much was happening in Columbus and the night I thought I was going to enjoy sleeping in my own bed was not actually going to happen. Sometime around 8:30 I received a voicemail on my phone from Nathan (my brother-in-law). I had checked my phone all night, and texted Ryan (I know, we don't text), but I never received an answer from him.

I had told Ryan I would call him once I got Aubrey in bed, but since we went to Farm Power of the Past, that was going to be later than I expected, so I tried calling him around this 8:30 time. No one answered and then Nathan's voicemail came through. I tried calling Ryan again, tried calling Rachel, and searched crazily through my phone for Nathan's phone number, but could not find it anywhere. I ended up calling the hospital and speaking with Ryan briefly, and doctor, and two nurses, I think. By then, I was almost sick to my stomach. I was pretty worked up and still trying to drive home, still trying to get hold of Rachel or Nathan. I called my mom to tell her I was returning to Columbus, then called Ryan's dad trying to find Nathan's number. I finally found it and got the picture of what was happening at the hospital.

Around 6:30, Ryan got sick, then got a high fever (104). From 6:30 to around 8:30 the nurse was in his room almost constantly trying to make him comfortable and figure out the best thing for him. When I finally talked to Nathan, they were considering moving Ryan to ICU, which eventually did not happen. They have moved him to a progressive care room, where the nurses can give him a little more attention.

When Aubrey, Mom, and I arrived at the hospital a little after midnight, Aubrey was awake and Ryan's fever had come down to around 102.6, it later fell even more than that, but was up to 103 around 5:00 this morning. At 8:30 this morning, his fever was back down to 100.6, progress. We are hoping that with continued ice packs and more chemotherapy, his white count will continue to fall and his fever will release (as it did 2 weeks ago). The doctors were in this morning, they felt that Ryan looked better than he did last night at 6. Ryan was complaining of a little pain in his side, they said probably his spleen which is working overtime, trying to help rid his body of the leukemia that is breaking down from the chemo.

When Ryan started chemo last night, his white count was 54, it was down to 42 this morning. There will be more chemo sometime today and then 24 hours off and two more doses; then 24 hours off, and the last two doses.

I am thankful to God that I was able to come over last night; we are extremely thankful that Ryan seems better this morning than even a few hours ago; I'm thankful that my mom and Aubrey are 5 minutes away at the hotel and I get to see our daughter and take a shower here very shortly. We are thankful for efficient and caring nurses and doctors who want what is best for Ryan. I am thankful that I know a God who is big enough to heal Ryan if that is his will for us. I am thankful that we have so many friends and family members who spend time in prayer for us. Many days I want normal, but I think that normal doesn't always remind me that God is in control.

Praying for the fever to release, and Ryan's white count continue to drop with his chemotherapy. Praying for peace for all involved.

-A

Sometimes we wonder...

why God doesn't directly show us his plan at the beginning of a journey - a marriage, going to college, having children, hearing that you (or a loved one) has cancer . . . We don't know what God's plan for Ryan's (and ultimately mine and Aubrey's) life is, but we are praying, seeking his will, and believing that whatever happens in our situation is for God's glory.

I know there are many people who read this blog that I have never met; this winter we met a couple at Miami Valley who came to me and said you look familiar. I didn't know her, but we told her who we were and she knew who we were immediately. I still don't remember exactly (because Ryan's leukemia had just relapsed then), but she has relation at CTC and they had been praying for us, following our joys in getting Aubrey's room done, and celebrating our baby turning one - without ever meeting us in person. I believe that this blog is touching others' lives; that's not why I started it - it was a way to "get out" of returning 15-20 phone calls a day when Ryan first got sick; not that I didn't want to talk to people, but I was tired and had a 7 month old daughter to take care of by myself :)

So, over the past 16 months, I've chronicled our lives. The fun things we've done, the trials and long hospital stays we've had, prayer requests for our family, and it still continues.

Ryan was admitted to the James Cancer Hospital again tonight. Yesterday when he got his blood drawn, his white count was in the high normal range, but there were no blasts (one of the markers they look for to watch the leukemia). Ryan had a low grade fever last night, which went away after taking tylenol. It returned around 10:30 or so this morning and so he called the outpatient clinic. They decided that we better head over so they could check things out. Today, Ryan's white count was over doubled from yesterday - 28 (which is actually 28,000), 68% of those 28,000 cells were blasts, up from 0 yesterday. This tells us that the transplant he had was basically unsuccessful and the chemo that they did 2 weeks ago was also not successful in clearing out the leukemia in his marrow and blood cells. He is making white cells, but they are not healthy normal white cells. After seeing the nurse practitioner, they decided Ryan should be admitted and another type of chemo tried.

This is scheduled to begin tomorrow and it appears that he will be in the hospital for at least 10 days. He is a bit bummed about this; we were going to work on the swingset for Aubrey today and had planned to finish it this week. I guess that won't happen . . .

We believe in God's power and ability to do miracles, we are praying that God's will will be played out in our lives. We pray that whatever chemo regimen is decided on tomorrow that Ryan will handle it well and that he will get home to Aubrey as soon as possible.

Thank you for praying for our family, even if you have never met us; we believe God hears each and every prayer lifted to him.

-A

Prayers Needed

Ryan had to get platelets and magnesium today; he was in Greenville from around 8:00-3:00. When he got home he didn't do much - he went outside for a little while. He was supposed to be hanging some pictures for me in the front room, but those didn't get hung. Around 6, I touched his arm and thought he felt a bit warm so I made him take his temperature. It was 100.5, so he called Columbus. They told him to take tylenol and wait until morning to see what happened.

His white cell count was 11.8 today, in the normal range, but up a good bit from Monday. His platelets were only 12 (they're supposed to be above 150) so that's why he got platelets. His hemoglobin was 10.8, which isn't in the normal range yet, but it is going in the right direction.

I had a rough day today; I'm being a bit selfish, but I wanted my pictures hung and my bookshelf moved since Monday and they haven't gotten done yet. When Ryan got a fever, I was further upset because I didn't really want to drive to Columbus tonight.

The tylenol has brought the fever down - it was 98.7 when he just took it a few minutes ago. Please pray that the fever will drop and stay down, that his platelets will begin to build on their own, and that I can start over and have a better day tomorrow.

Here's a picture of Aubrey


-A

Happy Birthday America

We spent yesterday at my parents' house celebrating the 4th of July. Aubrey and Mamaw and I went to the parade and met Jake and Brandi to watch Camryn. It was very, very hot there. We came home and went swimming! Then we had to have some ice cream to finish cooling down.

We went to see fireworks last night as well. Aubrey thought they were a little loud, but she really liked them. This was her first fireworks; we didn't go last year because Ryan was in the hospital.



Today Ryan had to get his blood drawn and checked again. We thought he would probably have to get platelets, but he has made it another day. His white count was 5; hemoglobin 10.2; platelets were 16. So, he goes back again Wednesday to have things checked. We worked on the swing set a little night and took a walk.

Please pray that his platelets will continue to build and be up even higher on Wednesday.

-A