Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sometimes we wonder...

why God doesn't directly show us his plan at the beginning of a journey - a marriage, going to college, having children, hearing that you (or a loved one) has cancer . . . We don't know what God's plan for Ryan's (and ultimately mine and Aubrey's) life is, but we are praying, seeking his will, and believing that whatever happens in our situation is for God's glory.

I know there are many people who read this blog that I have never met; this winter we met a couple at Miami Valley who came to me and said you look familiar. I didn't know her, but we told her who we were and she knew who we were immediately. I still don't remember exactly (because Ryan's leukemia had just relapsed then), but she has relation at CTC and they had been praying for us, following our joys in getting Aubrey's room done, and celebrating our baby turning one - without ever meeting us in person. I believe that this blog is touching others' lives; that's not why I started it - it was a way to "get out" of returning 15-20 phone calls a day when Ryan first got sick; not that I didn't want to talk to people, but I was tired and had a 7 month old daughter to take care of by myself :)

So, over the past 16 months, I've chronicled our lives. The fun things we've done, the trials and long hospital stays we've had, prayer requests for our family, and it still continues.

Ryan was admitted to the James Cancer Hospital again tonight. Yesterday when he got his blood drawn, his white count was in the high normal range, but there were no blasts (one of the markers they look for to watch the leukemia). Ryan had a low grade fever last night, which went away after taking tylenol. It returned around 10:30 or so this morning and so he called the outpatient clinic. They decided that we better head over so they could check things out. Today, Ryan's white count was over doubled from yesterday - 28 (which is actually 28,000), 68% of those 28,000 cells were blasts, up from 0 yesterday. This tells us that the transplant he had was basically unsuccessful and the chemo that they did 2 weeks ago was also not successful in clearing out the leukemia in his marrow and blood cells. He is making white cells, but they are not healthy normal white cells. After seeing the nurse practitioner, they decided Ryan should be admitted and another type of chemo tried.

This is scheduled to begin tomorrow and it appears that he will be in the hospital for at least 10 days. He is a bit bummed about this; we were going to work on the swingset for Aubrey today and had planned to finish it this week. I guess that won't happen . . .

We believe in God's power and ability to do miracles, we are praying that God's will will be played out in our lives. We pray that whatever chemo regimen is decided on tomorrow that Ryan will handle it well and that he will get home to Aubrey as soon as possible.

Thank you for praying for our family, even if you have never met us; we believe God hears each and every prayer lifted to him.

-A

7 comments:

  1. I have a friend that I do ironing for and the words PRAYER CHANGES THINGS are on a plaque above one of her doorways. Everytime I am at her house I see that plaque and read it. It does not matter what kind of day I am having it always comforts me to read those words. I would imagine it is because I know it is true. So today I pass these words on to you.

    Your family is praying for you. We have a powerful, awesome, God that heals. Our God is bigger than any cancer. Expect Him to do what His Word says He can do. Do not let the devil steal away the Word you know to be true. Do not allow him to steal your joy and peace. Stay comforted in the scriptures.

    Ephesians 3:20
    Now unto him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us

    Much love,
    diana dyrness

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  2. April,

    Just wanted to let you know that we at MVH are following you, Ryan, and Aubrey and thinking and praying for you. I can't even begin to imagine everything you are going through, and you are doing an amazing job! You never think that when you are beginning your family that you would ever have so much to deal with! You guys are a very special family and I know God will always take care of you. Here is a song, you probably have heard before, but the lyrics help me when I feel like I just don't understand God's plan or why things happen the way they do:

    Before the Morning
    Josh Wilson
    from the album Life is Not A Snapshot

    Do you wonder why you have to
    Feel the things that hurt you
    If there's a God who loves you
    Where is He now

    Maybe there are things you can't see
    And all those things are happening
    To bring a better ending
    Someday somehow you'll see you'll see

    Would you dare would you dare to believe
    That you still have a reason to sing
    Cause the pain that you've been feeling
    It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
    So hold on you gotta wait for the light
    Press on and just fight the good fight
    Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
    It’s just the dark before the morning

    My friend you know how this all ends
    And You know where you’re going
    You just don’t know how you’ll get there
    So say a prayer

    And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
    But life is not a snapshot
    It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture

    Would you dare would you dare to believe
    That you still have a reason to sing
    Cause the pain that you've been feeling
    It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
    So hold on you gotta wait for the light
    Press on and just fight the good fight
    Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
    It’s just the dark before the morning

    Once you feel the weight of glory
    All your pain will fade to memory
    Once you feel the weight of glory
    All your pain will fade to memory, memory, memory

    Would you dare would you dare to believe
    That you still got a reason to sing
    Cause the pain that you've been feeling
    It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming

    Would you dare would you dare to believe
    That you still got a reason to sing
    Cause the pain that you've been feeling
    It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming

    Come on you've gotta wait for the light
    Press on and just fight the good fight
    Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
    It’s just the hurt before the healing
    Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
    It’s just the dark before the morning
    Before the morning

    Hang in there, there is good for those who love God! Just know we are praying for you and we will always be here if you need us on BMT, you can call anytime! Give our love to Ryan and Aubrey, too, she is sooo cute and I am sure she is a source of strength (and comedy) as you continue to press on through this trial.

    Love, Hugs, and Prayers,
    Danielle (MVH, BMT)

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  3. My husband,Charles Brads, and our son,also Charles Brads, which is very confusing to all, both teach math at CTC. Our other son is married to Sarah Armstrong, Jerry's daughter, and so that is how Carolyn and Jerry learned about your blog. Our whole family has been praying for you for months and will continue to do so. In the family of God, there are no strangers, and your blog is indeed a ministry.

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  4. We will be praying for you all as you face this set back. Keep your eyes on your Savior and know that many are praying.

    Steve & Linda Martin

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  5. Oh dear, dear April how my heart aches for you.
    Psalm 62:5-8, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge."
    Constantly praying for you and Ryan.

    Love and prayers, Carolyn Armstrong

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  6. Father in Heaven,

    We know you are the only one who can heal Ryan. We ask for a miracle that you alone can do. Lord, have mercy on Ryan, April, and Aubrey. Bring healing. Bring hope. Bring peace.

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  7. Our hearts goes out to you guys. We are praying hard for all of you. Keep fighting, Ryan! Miracles can and still do happen. Stay strong, April. We lift you all up in prayer and may God keep carrying you through as you fight this.

    Love,
    Alan, Vickie, Simon, Eli and Henry

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